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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905375">Dungeons and Dipshits</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParTheAmoeba/pseuds/ParTheAmoeba'>ParTheAmoeba</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Practical Guide to Evil - erraticerrata</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>:), I can't put canon characters in the tags bc spoilers, I should get back to writing and stop tagging, I wonder how many tags I can think up, Marigold you're a great dm, Shenanigans, also one day I will edit this I promise, but yeah it's great, dnd 5e, lots of tomfoolery, yes the relationship in the relationships tag is serious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:26:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,736</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParTheAmoeba/pseuds/ParTheAmoeba</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A writeup/recounting of our DnD 5e Campaign set in Procer during Cordelia's rebellion.<br/>A bunch of dipshits attempt to solve problems and wreak havoc across Procer (and maybe beyond?).<br/>(The first several chapters are just copy-pasted from Discord, so it's not really a proper story format. Eventually I'll go back and edit it into a semblance of decent writing. Hopefully)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Linde/The Wandering Bard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Cast:<br/>Our DM, Marigold<br/>Me, Eldritch Knight Drow named Farahel<br/>Matt, Human Phoenix Soul sorcerer named Jacques<br/>Lilly, Human Oath of the Ancients Paladin named Linde<br/>Rudy, Human Mastermind Rogue named Lukas<br/>Gwen, Human Lantern (Light Domain Cleric) named Luana</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>So the first session starts with all of us in a caravan headed south to Salia. Along with the party, we have a guide and a priest. The priest is the person in charge of the box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyway, as we're traveling along the mountain path, we find that the path is blocked by a giant tree that's fallen over</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon inspection, we learn that the tree wasn't knocked over naturally</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel, Linde, and Luana decide to climb over the tree to see what's up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of nowhere, a person in a fancy red robe along with three minions appears</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good day to you fine folk," he goes, "I'm afraid that this pass requires a toll to proceed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Toll? This is the first I've ever heard of a toll." says Linde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'm afraid that there's consequences to not paying," says the red robes guy, and snaps his fingers. A crossbow bolt comes out of nowhere and hits the priest, who's back behind the tree next to the cart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We roll initiative, and the fight starts</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde and Farahel both attack red robe guy, and we both get high rolls</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We're basically gutting this dude, who casts mirror image to protect himself for a bit, but between the three of us, we quickly get him down to very low health</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing that he's almost dead, red robe jumps off the cliff on the side of the road</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His three minions try to fight Linde and Farahel, but again, we basically annihilate them</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, behind the tree, chaos has ensued</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas figures out that the crossbow bolt came from a dude hiding in the forest, and promptly gets shot trying to help the Priest (who is dead now)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques tries to hit him with his own crossbow, and also gets shot. He then hides</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Lukas has the box, and tries to get to cover, fails, and gets shot again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, the priest is dead, Jacques is close to it, and Lukas is almost dead too</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luana makes it over the tree and spots the crossbow dude and Jacques, who's basically almost dead</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She goes over to heal him and then decides to go to the crossbow dude to attack him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas has found good cover and tries to hit crossbow dude with his crossbow, and fails miserably</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crossbow dude gets out his shortsword and proceeds to knock out Lunana in one hit</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, Linde has climbed over the tree, and sees the absolute carnage that this one minion has wrought on our party</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She manages to get to him, and she's barely able to hit him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crossbow dude attacks her and Linde gets hit hard</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She manages to hit him solidly, and the dude finally goes down</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, the only person in the entire party who's not close to dying is the only one who didn't fight Crossbow dude - Farahel</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The minions on the other side of the tree are finished off by Farahel, who then takes their Night and goes back to the caravan, where the guide tells them that he's not travelling with them anymore, they can have their money back and he'll take his wagon and horse and go home</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of us goes, "nah, keep the money, we'd prefer to keep your cart and horse" and the poor guy just takes off back down the path</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now the party's arguing over what to do with the box and generally getting mad at each other for doing things</span>
</p><p>
  <span>in the background, Farahel takes the Night from the now-dead Crossbow dude, and gets a perk (+1 to all damage from heavy crossbows) in honor of the absolute destruction this supposed-to-be-a-throwaway minion rained down on us</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the party all decide to stay together and travel to Salia</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The problem is, which way do we go?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Farahel has learned a bit of the surrounding area thanks to the Night they took</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and pipes up, "Oh that way leads to a small town, and that way leads to a big city."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the humans turn to them and go "how... how do you know that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Farahel, very matter-of-factly, says, "I learned it from the people we killed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh, so you interrogated them?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"no. I took their Night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, Luana (the Lantern), is horrified. "Did you eat their soul?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, what's a soul? Is that one of your cattle things?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's Night??" asks Linde</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Night is Night. I took it from the cattle we fought."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you... you didn't eat them, did you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"no, cattle aren't for eating."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"but... that's exactly what cattle are for!!" goes literally the entire party</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"hmpf. whatever. I took their Night, that's all. Should we go?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and that's how our first session went</span>
</p><p>
  <span>more or less</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't remember all the exact details of the combat or the convo about Night</span>
</p><p>
  <span>alright</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so we'd reached the City, which we learned was Bremen, late in the evening, so we just went to an inn to rest up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before we went in, Jacques reveals to the rest of the party that he has fire powers. Everybody's cool with it, and we go inside to have dinner</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We decided to rp out convo over dinner, which mostly consisted of Lukas and Jacques fighting (Lukas was mad at Jacques for not fighting the crossbow guy, and Jacques got mad at Lukas because Lukas tried to grab him, so Jacques punched Lukas and now they both hate each other)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So a bit of backstory - Jacques is a 15yo kid whose family farm got burned down after his parents were killed by a criminal gang and his fire powers manifested. He mostly just wants to rebuild his farm and live a simple life, so we're trying to convince Jacques to keep travelling with us</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyway, Linde, Luana, and Lukas convince Jacques that without proper mage training, he's gonna keep burning things up that he doesn't want to, and Jacques agrees to keep traveling with us. (side note: Farahel's contribution to this: "If you can become Mighty, you should become Mighty." which confused everyone cause none of them what Mighty means)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so head to our rooms for the night (after a brief discussion on who'll be in which rooms), and after everyone's asleep, Jacques sneaks out to slip something underneath the door to Luana and Lukas's room (who both wanted to keep the box in their possession since they're the ones tasked with delivering it)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It turns out that Jacques had found some letters that were the Priest's in the chaos of the fight, and had held onto them until now, when he decided to sneak them to Lukas and Luana</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Lukas and Luana find the letters and figure out that the box is a demonic artifact that's being delivered to an address in Salia</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tell the rest of the party, and we head out</span>
</p><p>
  <span>just as we reach the gates, the guards stop us</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No one's allowed to leave the City. The Prince was assassinated last night, and until we figure out what happened and who did it, the gates are closed."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which deals are made.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cast:<br/>Our DM, Marigold<br/>Me, Eldritch Knight Drow named Farahel<br/>Matt, Human Phoenix Soul sorcerer named Jacques<br/>Lilly, Human Oath of the Ancients Paladin named Linde<br/>Rudy, Human Mastermind Rogue named Lukas<br/>Gwen, Human Lantern (Light Domain Cleric) named Luana<br/>And, last but not least, Squak, my crow familiar</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alrighty</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So our party is investigating the assassination of the Prince of Bremen </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And after a bout of gambling and grave robbing, we'd confirmed from two sources that the guy who bought the enchanted crossbow bolt that had killed the prince was a dock worker that was part of a local gang of protesting dock worker that was forming a union to protest high taxes or something</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And we find the leader of this gang in a bar called the Cheap Crown</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I, an Eldritch Knight Drow with 5 CHA, decide to go grab a drink from the bartender</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dude that we suspect did the murder decides that he has a problem with my existence and tries to intimidate me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>unfortunately for him, I don't speak Reitz and don't care</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So the leader of the gang tells the murder suspect dude to back down and "don't provoke the scary drow with the giant bird made of darkness on their shoulder [find familiar]"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I, in my infinite wisdom as a drow who nothing of human customs, decide that this makes us friends</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So I go over to the table of the dockworker gang, grab a seat, and introduce my familiar, a crow named Squak</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Squak squawks a hello, and everyone is so confused nobody reacts</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The paladin, the only one the sense to realise that leaving the 5 CHA Drow to do the interogating, walks over and also sits down</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then proceeds to ask very pointed questions of "where can one find an enchanted crossbow bolt around these parts?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the assassination suspect dude is very nervous now, especially as the giant midnight-black crow made of Eldritch magic is staring at him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and the paladin realises that the leader has no idea what this dude did</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the leader asks us to leave, and after some strategizing, we leave, but Squak stays behind in the bar to see where the gang goes if they leave</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, I, the one who has the familiar, decides to hide out near the bar and wait for squak to tell me where they go</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and the rest of the party also go, but they go several blocks away to wait for word from me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the gang leaves the bar, and Squak follows them (without even trying to hide since he's made of night and it's like 2 in the afternoon)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I follow behind</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and we reach a warehouse</span>
</p><p>
  <span>unfortunately, one of the gang throws a rock at Squak, causing him to discorporate</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I, who is not the party rogue, decide to sneak up to the warehouse and spy on them anyway, and manage to roll high enough to learn some things of worth</span>
</p><p>
  <span>in the meantime, the rest of the party is looking for me, since I can't send them a signal via Squak and nor do I really care to, seeing as the only person my character likes is the paladin and is generally a loner anyway</span>
</p><p>
  <span>they roll intelligence to see if they can ask around to see i anyone saw me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and they all score below a 6</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, the party Cleric (reflavored to a Lanturn of Levant) prays to get some help tracking me down, and succeeds, so the party follows my tracks to the warehouse</span>
</p><p>
  <span>immediately, the rogue fails his two stealth checks and gets the attention of the gang inside</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the assassination suspect dude and leader dude, and 4 thugs all come out, and they ask what the party is doing here</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the rogue tries to tell them that they were just passing through</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and fails the persuasion check</span>
</p><p>
  <span>roll initiative</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, rogue goes to run away and get some distance, but leader dude gets close to him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>paladin goes to leader dude and rogue</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and that leaves our sorcerer and cleric vs. the 5 goons, including the suspect guy</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(horrible tactics, we know)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so, the paladin trips the leader dude and makes him fall prone, and the rogue sneak attacks him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>meanwhile the sorcerer and cleric both cast burning hands to get as much damage as possible</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the leader rolls to attack... and fails</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the goons get out their crossbows, and attack</span>
</p><p>
  <span>suspect dude crit fails, and breaks his crossbow</span>
</p><p>
  <span>another round of the same goes by</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at this point, the cleric and the sorcerer are almost at 0 health</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the rogue is too</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the leader attacks</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hits the rogue, dm asks for a con save</span>
</p><p>
  <span>rogue fails, is stunned</span>
</p><p>
  <span>paladin gets a nat 20 and hits for double damage die, but the leader dude does not go down</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he attacks her, and she fails the con save and is stunned</span>
</p><p>
  <span>meanwhile, the cleric and the sorcerer take down 3 of the goons, but both go down in the process</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, I, the fighter, am in the warehouse investigating the assassination</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it's at this point that I join the fight</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I get outside, and the whole party is out except for me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>everyone is rolling death saving throws, and leader and suspect dude and goon are left for me to fight</span>
</p><p>
  <span>luckily, I get the goon before he hits me for any damage by casting chaos bolt, and the leader comes right at me and falls to a melee attack</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at this point, the sorcerer fails his third saving throw...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and the dm cuts away to the sorcerer's pov</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Quick note: our overarching goal as a party is to take this mysterious sealed box to Salia's House of Light. The Lantern/Cleric, Paladin, and Rogue are all very invested in getting it delivered without triggering the demonic magic inside]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>DM: "you feel your life fading away, but in front you, you see a red door."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sorcerer (who is a Phoenix soul sorcerer, fyi - yes, this is basically Tancred as a dnd character, and yes, that is the exact description he introduced himself by ooc) goes through the door, and sees a large desk with a giant book on it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opens the book and looks through, until he finds a page written in bright red, glowing ink, that has a family tree</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at the top is his last name</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he looks up, and in front of him, there's a whirling mass of fire</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Your soul is our property, it says. However, we do not find you a worthy to take yet</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, but what the fuck are you?" asks the sorcerer</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You are but an insect compared to our might, yet you dare speak to us this way?!</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We, generously, offer you a deal - the box you and your ...friends... are carrying. Make sure you open it and bring us what's inside. In exchange, we will bring you back to life.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>The sorcerer decides to ask for more. DM tells him to roll for persuasion</span>
</p><p>
  <span>crit fail</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>YOU FOOLISH, INSOLENT INSECT! Fine, we shall give you more power... but see what it will cost you. You are ours twice over now. Begone!</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>and the sorcerer wakes up.... now reincarnated as a Tiefling</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, I've killed the leader of the gang and knocked out the assassination suspect</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and I see our sorcerer come back as a demon-human hybrid</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and give no shits because drow</span>
</p><p>
  <span>anyway, Sorcerer decides to attempt a medicine check to heal our paladin (who has better healing spells than our cleric in this instance)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and gets a nat 20 and literally sets her blood on fire in a healing way</span>
</p><p>
  <span>fun stuff</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She's an Oath of the Ancients paladin who is sworn to the Spring Court, so she has some fae powers</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She's fine</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so she heals everyone who's down, and that's where we had to stop</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and now the whole party's at level 4, yay!</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which philosophy is discussed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cast:<br/>Our DM, Marigold<br/>Me, Eldritch Knight Drow named Farahel<br/>Matt, Human-turned-Tiefling, Phoenix Soul sorcerer named Jacques<br/>Lilly, Human Oath of the Ancients Paladin named Linde<br/>Rudy, Human Mastermind Rogue named Lukas<br/>Gwen, Human Lantern (Light Domain Cleric) named Luana<br/>And, last but not least, Squak, my crow familiar</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>so we reach this tiny little town in this mysterious fog</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and the entire party is like, nah, let's just keep going, our mission to Salia is more urgent than whatever's going on here</span>
</p><p>
  <span>we continue along the path through the center of the town...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and reach a very similar town to the first, just mirrored and deserted</span>
</p><p>
  <span>our paladin realises that this town is definitely in Arcadia and not creation</span>
</p><p>
  <span>also, at the center of this town is a large, dead tree</span>
</p><p>
  <span>we go back and forth between these two town for a while, trying to figure out a way to leave, but nothing works</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at this point, we decide to investigate the town that's still sort of in Creation, since there are people there</span>
</p><p>
  <span>this town has a church in it, and our Lantern can feel a super evil feeling coming from it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So everyone except the drow, who gives no fucks about any of this, goes into the church</span>
</p><p>
  <span>there they immediately notice this giant, super detailedly described stain glass window that is screaming plot the top of its nonexistent lungs</span>
</p><p>
  <span>there's also a priest of the Church, and a couple townspeople</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the priest we learn that:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the town got a mysterious stranger about 5 years ago who came in and put in the stained glass window</span>
</p><p>
  <span>only one person in the town has died since the stranger arrived, the previous town mayor</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the town now worships "constancy" and not the Gods Above</span>
</p><p>
  <span>after a couple of "tests" we figure out that the priest is legit, can heal with Light and all that (during which he almost grabs our devil-touched tiefling which results in some panic)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the window is really high up, so the priest recommends going to the house a couple houses down from the church to grab a ladder if we wanna check it out</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so the party splits up a bit more, and the paladin and sorc go to the bar, the cleric and rogue go to get the ladder and check out the window, and I continue to chill by the wagon the big dead tree</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After grabbing the ladder, the cleric and rogue head back to the church, and climb up to the window</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the cleric takes out her Lantern and shines some Light on the window </span>
</p><p>
  <span>which immediately frosts over and attacks her, throwing her off the ladder</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the rogues and her go to back to the priest, it now being very clear that there's some fae shenanigans going on, and try to get more info, but the priest is a bit wary of them after the window thing and tells them not much more</span>
</p><p>
  <span>meanwhile, at the bar, the paladin and sorcerer are looking around</span>
</p><p>
  <span>they see a mysterious, foreign-looking woman with golden eyes who's drinking a ton, a few townspeople, and a bard with a flask and lute</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[I will note that, since my character wasn't really involved in any of this, I wasn't paying super close attention and thus this may not be exactly how it happened, but the gist is there]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so first they go the foreign woman, who turns out to be a traveller who is now stuck here</span>
</p><p>
  <span>her name is Cynthia, and she is, quote, "attempting to drink herself to death"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sorcerer decides the best way to get her to open up is to flirt with her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and manages to do well enough on various rolls involving aragh and breathing fire that Cynthia opens up a bit about what is up with the town</span>
</p><p>
  <span>basically, she tells them, a Fae that goes by the name Lord Seid of Winter came into town and did something so that no one in town could die</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid refuses to let anyone leave, and the town seems to be perfectly ok with this unchanging, eternal existence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She also tells them that Seid stays in the church in the version of the town that's in Arcadia, and if we wanna leave we'll have to get him to let up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>as they're about to leave, the paladin sees the bard and heads over to talk to her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the sorcerer, who has no clue about the significance of mysterious bards in Guideverse, assumes out paladin wants to flirt, since the paladin only turned around to talk to her after catching sight of her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So the paladin and sorc walk up to the bard, and the sorc basically is trying to set them up, the bard is being mysterious and is also curious, and the paladin is dying of embarrassment because she's not actually attracted to the bard but can't exactly say that because "I wanna hook up" is the best cover for why she wants to talk to her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So first we learn that the bard's name is Nimona and she just wandered into town as a bard does, y'know</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and she asks the paladin, who she's sworn to</span>
</p><p>
  <span>our paladin manages to avoid the question by leaning into the flirting angle</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and then the bard basically rejects her and points out Cynthia as someone who might be interested</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at which point the paladin physically drags the sorcerer out of the bar before she actually dies of embarrassment</span>
</p><p>
  <span>now, the party debriefs, and decides to go to meet Seid</span>
</p><p>
  <span>before they go, though, the rogue takes the bottle of aragh that I have and makes a molotov out of it, at which point our pyromaniac sorcerer buys all the alcohol and extra bottles the barkeep has and makes molotovs out of them too (side note, we're pretty well off as a party since three of went on a tomb robbing expedition in Bremen)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>now "suitably armed" we head to meet this fae lord</span>
</p><p>
  <span>we walk into the church and in the church, there's a throne at the back that Seid is sitting in</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid greets us, and asks what we want</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paladin: we'd like to leave</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid: Why?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paladin: We have ...stuff... to do</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid: surely nothing that's worth your life. What is it that you have to do?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sorcerer: We have to deliver... a letter... to Salia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid: 5 people to deliver one letter? Strange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sorcerer: we're...um, protection, for him (points at our rogue)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid: hmmm. really. I don't think so. What are all of really after?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cleric: I was charged with protecting him by the House of Light. I'm sworn to the Gods, and I can't back down now</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Seid is visibly disgusted by the mention of the Gods)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid: hmpf. the Gods are the ones trapping us in this endless cycle of death. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I interject: I'm only with them because I seek out Secrets and foes to fight. If you have that, I'll be more inclined to stay</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid: a fight, you say? How about you and I have a duel, then?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>now, me being a murderhappy drow, is basically all for this, but the party is not ok with this dude potentially killing me in a one-one fight</span>
</p><p>
  <span>also, Seid is wary of the party, and wants each person to swear that they won't interfere in the duel</span>
</p><p>
  <span>everyone, with various amounts of reluctance, agrees, with the caveat that Seid swears to not kill me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and thus, we fight</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I attack, and each time I do, the cold aura around him hurts me, and he just attacks back lazily with blasts of cold damage that do basically almost my entire health total at once</span>
</p><p>
  <span>two rounds of a fucking beatdown later, I'm knocked out after having barely harmed him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He uses a bit more Winter power to revive me, and says, "Plenty of good fights and much to learn here, my friend."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so, I'm at this point ok with staying for a while, and reply, "Yeah, looks like it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this point, the Paladin goes: Well, I can't stay here. I made an oath and I have to keep it, lest ...the people I made the oath to... come after me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid replies: What makes you think they can get you here? I can tell who you're sworn to, and if they could, they would've dismantled this place for being improper by now. You will be free of your oath here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The paladin is visibly shaken, but before she can respond, Seid turns to the Sorcerer and says, "I see that you have been...cursed. I can also free you of this, and you will be similarly safe here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, our cleric has a question: "did you ask the villagers before deciding that they're now immortal? what gives you the right to 'save' people who don't want it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid sighs. "Look, if you saw a mouse running to its death, would you not save it? I am merely doing the same. If I can keep you from dying, I will. Nothing you say can change my mind."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cleric: "So you'll trap people in this cage just because you're scared of death?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this, Seid gets pretty mad. "Isn't Creation a cage? The world? You are trapped anyway, but at least here you will not die."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We continue to argue with him, and eventually he seems to get tired of listening to us, and kicks us out. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which we climb a tower.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cast: <br/>Our DM, Marigold<br/>Me, Eldritch Knight Drow named Farahel<br/>Matt, Human-turned-Tiefling, Phoenix Soul sorcerer named Jacques<br/>Lilly, Human Oath of the Ancients Paladin named Linde<br/>Rudy, Human Mastermind Rogue named Lukas<br/>Gwen, Human Lantern (Light Domain Cleric) named Luana<br/>And, last but not least, Squak, my crow familiar</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>So when last we left off, the party had stumbled into a village under the spell of a Winter fae that had not only trapped the villagers, it also kept them from dying, in eternal stasis</span>
</p><p>
  <span>upon confronting this fae, the party learned that they too were now trapped, and the fae, who goes by Seid, truly believes that death is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone, and is now keeping the party trapped lest they venture forth and die</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel, my drow fighter, challenged him to a duel, and got their ass hand to them, some arguing over why keeping people in a gilded cage is bad and other fun stuff happened</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of the party left the church where they had confronted Seid, except our paladin, Linde, who's sworn to the fae Queen, and our human-turn-Tiefling sorcerer, who waits by the door to listen in provide moral support</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Basically, Linde tries to convince Seid that keeping people preserved and stagnant like this is bad, and that this is against the natural order</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid basically boasts back that, since he's the last fae of Winter, currently, he is pretty powerful and even if the Winter fae come back, he's likely to be crowned King just by sheer dint of having the power for so long</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also reveals the existence of a "Crown of Winter" that holds all the power of Winter, which is in his possession currently</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde leaves the church after realising that nothing's gonna convince this guy, and leaves the church along with matt, who now knows that Linde is sworn to Queen Titania</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel, having spent some time thinking about how Seid mentioned the Sisters' ritual to create the whole Night system in order to save the drow, realises that Seid might have the power and secret that Farahel needs to give to Sve Noc to complete the ritual and their apotheosis</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he goes to the church, and Lukas follows along to listen in provide moral support</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel asks Seid about telling them how Seid did the spell or whatever that is keeping the town from dying, and Seid, sadly, tells Farahel that they can't control the power, also asking "Are you Worthy?" in Crepuscular - "Sa Verde?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel says that they don't have to be, as long as the power gets to Sve Noc through them, they who are the worthiest can use it and ascend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seid looks impressed with Farahel after this, and with a regretful/sad air about him tells Farahel "You will find what you seek by climbing the tower."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[so, me the player thought this was a reference to The Tower in Praes, until (I think it was Lilly?) someone brought up the mini-tower of ice on the Arcadia side of the town - which I figure is what Seid was referring to]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, Farahel, now determined to get whatever is at the top of that tower at any cost, tells the party that they're gonna go to the tower and climb it and they're welcome to join them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So the party sets off to take on this tower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tower itself is clearly not man made - it's made of solid ice and the structure itself doesn't look like any human architecture. It's about four stories tall, and there doesn't seem to be an actual door into it - just a large indent that has three symbols carved into it - vaguely crepuscular-like markings for a rising sun, a sun at high noon, and a setting sun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel attempts to open the door by throwing a bit of Night at it, and realises that the door needs the opposite kind of power to open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luana then shines some Light on it with her lantern, and while the Light is shining on it, one of the runes lights up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques then fires a firebolt at it, and again, only one of the symbols lights up. When they both try, only two of the symbols light up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, Farahel knows the spell Absorb Elements, which represents the "steal and use" aspect of Night, and we decide that we'll have Luana shine her light, Jacques cast twinned spell firebolt at the door and at Farahel, who uses Absorb elements to redirect it the door to get all three runes to light up, which works.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door slides open, and on the other side...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...there's just blackness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of us can see anything (despite both Farahel and Jacques having darkvision), so Lukas decides to throw his lantern inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It goes inside, and instead of hitting any floor, it just keeps falling, and falling, and falling, until it eventually disappears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first floor of the tower is basically a bottomless pit, it seems.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, on the other side of the room (which is about 30 ft in diameter, for reference), there's a set of stairs leading to the next floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas then attempts to throw his makeshift grappling hook, consisting of a crowbar tied to a rope, at the stairs. it misses... and keeps falling. See, Lukas had tied the rope to his wrist, and then yeeted the crowbar as hard as he could... So now he was about to be pulled into the void with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking quickly, Lukas cut the rope before he fell in, but lost about 15 ft of rope in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So to get across, Linde uses Channel Divinity: Nature's Wrath to conjure up spectral vines and create a bridge across the gap. It's a very narrow and somewhat unsafe bridge, though, so Farahel and Lukas, our two highest Dex characters, go across first without a problem.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde goes next, and even though this is her bridge, she slips, but Farahel just reaches out, grabs her by the rope tied around her waist just in case, and just casually pulls her up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next goes Luana, who also slips, and this time Linde reaches out to grab her, almost slips again herself, but with Lukas's help steadies herself and also pulls Luana up like Farahel did. [fun fact, this was a check with advantage, and the two rolls were a crit fail and a nat 20 lol]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques crosses without any drama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before they go up the stairs, though, Farahel sends their crow familiar, Squak, up to check for traps. Squak reports that there's only a chest surrounded by armor stands with full sets of armor on them, which are covered with a thin layer of ice and don't seem to respond to Squak pecking them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party goes up the stairs, and begin investigating...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel sends Squak up another floor to see what's there, Jacques is suspiciously checking out the armor, Luana is looking around the room and so is Lukas, when Linde decides to open the chest...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The armor set comes to life, and attacks the party, who are taken by surprise except for Jacques, who was already suspicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matt: I did knock down every set of armor in the room</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rudolph: Yeah, and I tried to investigate the chest for traps, but Lilly was impatient</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques hits one with a firebolt right away, and it's basically destroyed and crumbles into ash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The others get up and rush straight at Linde, tackling her at once and knocking her prone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel runs up and attacks one, getting a good hit but not knocking it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde then gets up and attacks that same one, which finishes it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party and the armors exchange blows for another round or two, and there's 5 of them left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques is on fire at this point, because of one of his abilities, which deals fire damage to anyone who hits him when he uses a fire spell and sets himself on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The armors attack people by running into them and tackling them, basically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all decide to attack Jacques. They are Winter armors, made of ice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carnage ensues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Needless to say, the rest of the armors are destroyed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The party grabs the loot in the chest, and heads up to the next floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next room has a mirror about halfway into it, that basically stretches from floor to ceiling and wall to wall. There's no frame, it seems to just be a mirror from end to end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel takes out their crossbow and shoots a bolt at the mirror. When the bolt hits the mirror, it gets hit by its own reflection, exactly as if another bolt had been perfectly fired at it and they had collided tip to tip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas tries to see if he can recall stories of any such artifact, Farahel tries to notice anything but doesn't get much, and Jacques figures out what the mirror does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he can tell any of the rest of the party, though, Farahel walks up to the mirror and touches it. The image in the mirror changes to show the Empire Ever Dark in its full glory, the massive, dark shape of two huge Crows in the sky, taking up the entire top part of the mirror, with legions of drow warriors marching forth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas then decides to touch the mirror too, and the image shifts once again, this time depicting a clearly Proceran throne room, with an unrecognizable ruler on the throne and Lukas by their side, undeniably their right hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rudolph: Lukas rolled a 1 on his check and touched the mirror first, then he started touching it when it changed reflections to just see the throne room and try and figure out who the indistinct ruler was</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He almost got sucked in</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Jacques bailed him out</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas and Farahel pull their hands back, and Jacques tells the party that to cross the mirror, you have to go through it with your eyes closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde then touches the mirror, but keeps her eyes closed. The mirror shifts to show a peaceful village, with people in the background going about their business, and in front of them, Linde sits on her porch, peaceful and content.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luana then goes up to the mirror and also touches it with her eyes closed, and the image shifts to show a mural of her, doing heroic deeds. In one image, she's fighting a monster, in another, she's healing someone with light, etc.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde and Luana walk through the mirror, and Farahel walks through after them, leaving Lukas and Jacques on one side, and Luana, Linde, and Farahel on the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde asks Farahel and Luana whether they saw anyone else with her in the mirror when Linde touched it, and looks troubled when they tell her she was alone in the image.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas walks through, with one last troubled look at the mirror, and Jacques follows after him without even trying to see what the mirror shows for him. (To quote Matt: Jacques already knows exactly what the mirror would show him.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the next floor, there's an ornate set of armor that's been frozen to the ground, and on the helmet is a silver crown, almost circlet-like, that has patterns like frost etched into it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It gives off a feeling of power...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex: it also has shards of jagged stained glass where you'd expect gems to be on a regular crown, that are an opaque blue that darkens at the edges to be a light purple</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, knowing that this thing will probably attack us if we touch the crown, we decide to set up for the battle instead of getting ambushed, for once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel and Linde flank+ready an attack, Lukas creates a sack of molotovs, Luana prepares with sacred flame.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lukas tosses the bag of molotovs at it and Jacques shoots a firebolt to set it off, and now the armor's on fire, melting away the ice armor around it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde and Farahel chip away at it with their swords, getting good hits since it being on fire keep the ice protecting it from forming again. Luana and Lukas attack from a distance, dealing a bit of damage at a time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques is basically destroying it with a scorching ray, and though it tries to fight back, we pretty easily destroy it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel then puts on the crown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately, there's a wave of force that blasts out, knocking everyone but Lukas back 20 feet and off their feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel takes in as much of the vast, powerful, overwhelming Winter they now control, and manages to barely pass the Con save.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde casts Command to try to get Farahel to take it off, but Farahel resists it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luana casts Resistance on Farahel. [+1d4 to saves]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques cast invisibility on Lukas, who then sneaks up to Farahel and attempts to take the crown, but fails to take it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Farahel then uses the crown again to break the spell on the village that keeps them in and keeps the villagers from dying, and almost doesn't make the con save. Luckily Resistance comes in and puts the roll just over at 21.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Linde tries to persuade Farahel to take the crown off again, and this time Farahel doesn't resist, takes the crown off, and immediately passes out. The tower starts to crumble around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luana heals Farahel the party runs to the third floor and yeets themselves out a hole that Jacques blasts into the wall. They can feel the Arcadia side of the Village begin to unhook from the Creation side, and they grab the wagon and run through the fog barrier between the villages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They immediately see that the once busy and well-kept village now is abandoned and broken-down, as if it had been dead for years...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They head to the tavern, where they had met a bard that said she'd wandered into town and had a lute, to see if anyone's still alive, but where the people once were, there are only long-dead corpses </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques takes a moment to steal back the coins he spent on getting the alcohol for the molotovs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luana realises that the villagers dying is their fault - her fault. She's supposed to save people, not kill entire villages...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde and Jacques see a note on the stage that Linde picks up and reads:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thanks for doing me a favor and taking care of this. See you later</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde tucks it away in her pocket, and the group sets up camp by their wagon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques pulls out a book he got from a certain group of devils...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>also note: Jacques is in possession of the Crown right now</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques uses the book to send a message to the devils he struck a bargain with:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I am in possession of the crown of winter. make a deal? - Jacques</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>bring to 213 blackstone ave in brus. you will receive generous payment.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need terms before I show. or count me out. I know someone else very interested. -Jacques</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>ten thousand gold and a favour that we will discuss upon receival of payment.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As long as i am able to exclude the favor at my discretion we have a deal should i be still able</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>failure on your part will be a slight, not a break in faith.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After this little text convo with Jacques' devil buddies, Linde walks over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thinks the best thing to with the Crown is to give it to Titania, and let the Queen sort it out and restore the natural way of things, so asks Jacques to see the crown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jacques, rightfully suspicious of what Linde wants to do with it, knowing that Linde's sworn to a fae Queen, only shows it to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde implores Titania to take the crown. She then remembers a memory, but one that's definitely not her own, of a glass box with the Crown in it. The glass breaks and crown is taken - the message is clear, if Linde asks that the Crown be taken, then something that can't be undone will happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Linde decides not to take the Crown, and leaves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jacques sends another message to the Devils:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>a pawn of titania's spring court has interest in the crown. Will be wary but they might try to steal. i may be endagered</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>If you are in danger of the crown being stolen (NOT danger to your bodily health) cast the spell on page 470</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, everyone else is dealing with the trauma they just went through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that's the end of the session</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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